Life's percentage mass: 10% what happens, 90% how you react.
There's a saying (which I stole from those people that came and performed at our school from Excel [hahaha Windows Excel]) which goes: Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
Normally when you hear this type of thing you allow it to travel through one ear and out the other barely waving to your brain as it passes through. That's what I would have normally done as I dislike the clichéd "We are here to teach you a lesson" performances that are held our school annually but there was something about this proverb that stuck in my head.
"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react." When I heard it I thought how true is that? So many of life's puny problems would have been solved if people had just reacted in a matter more reasonable than what they did. This leads me to TEENS of course, as this is what this blog is all about, TEENS.
Doesn't it make you sigh just hearing the words "teen" and "problem" in the same sentence? Anyway, as us Teens are full of hormones and the unrealistic ideal of what reality is which have brought on by TV and Girlfriend Magazine (so they say), it's not uncommon to find a situation which we don't over-blow. Number one on this list of over-blown situations is friendships and relationships problems. Friendships and relationships are the subject of many a gossip session. For example: The fact that she slept with his best mate just to get back at her ex. Although it's just absolutely fascinating to listen to these whispering campaigns, I find myself saying “Double-You-Tee-Eff. This is retarded. Why do people drag themselves into these situations? What was she thinking?”
She probably wasn’t thinking. If you are heart-broken the first thing you want to do is get revenge on the breaker but the last thing you want to do is cause more pain to yourself so why did you go and sleep with his friend. Now everyone is calling you a whore and you feel worse than before. Why didn’t you just let it go? Let him break your heart because as Justin says: What goes around comes around. Put it in perspective: Although you feel like your heart is in a million pieces it will be nothing but a distant memory when you’re celebrating your 20th Wedding Anniversary with your husband… of 20 years.
Btw, that example was totally fake. But this one is real: A girl I am going to name Ashlee is angry at her ex who I will name Pete (name changes, thanks to Mona's suggestion. HAHAHA.) and his friend who is a girl, Lindsey. So Ashlee is angry at the fact that Lindsey keeps saying that she looks like a boy and being a "bitch" to her for no apparent reason. In my opinion I don't see any reason for this type of behaviour. Btw, there has been "something" between Pete and Lindsey so it's more like "friends" as opposed to friends. Anyway they are in a play and there is a prop, a hand bag, which Lindsey normally uses and has put a couple of her own things in there but Ashlee needs it for one of the scenes she is in. She looks through it finding nothing particulary interesting. Lindsey tells her to stop looking through her "things" if gum and a mirror count as things and turns back talking to Pete and pulls the finger when Sarah isn't looking, once again, in my opinion, for no apparent reason. Ashlee is told by another actor that Lindsey just did this and Ashlee asks if she did. Lindsey laughs it off, guiltly but with no hint of fear. (See how interesting that was to read?) PROBLEM: Lindsey is a bitch to Ashlee. SOLUTION: Don't be a bitch to her. In my world you are only ever allowed to be a bitch to someone if they are a bitch to you, she hasn't been a bitch to you as far as I know. PROBLEM: Lindsey had a problem with Sarah looking through her things. SOLUTION: Not care. It's gum and a mirror in a bag that isn't even yours. PROBLEM: Lindsey flipped her the bird. SOLUTION: Keep your fingers together, release your anger another way. I find cleaning my desk/cleaning in general a great way to release anger. PROBLEM: Ashlee asked Lindsey if she gave her the finger which led to more anger on Lindsey's behalf. SOLUTION: You don't need to know. What would you do with the knowledge? Store it in the "Reasons I hate Lindsey" jar? Whats more, why would you want to know? You already don't like her so why would you even want to talk to her?
In my opinion the relationships we have now as teenagers are just practices for the real relationships we have when we are adults. It’s no surprise that people have complicated adult relationships when as teenagers our relationships are expected to be over-complicated and full of problems. It’s like a rule. You aren’t in a relationship unless you’ve had an argument. Well that’s how I feel because all I hear about in terms of boyfriend/girlfriends is the problems they are having. I have kept my life fairly trouble-free by not pissing too many people off and putting things in perspective. If I have a fight with my parents no matter how angry I am at them I always think about how lucky I am to have them and no matter how many times I’m pissed off by my friends I always think of how great they are.
It’s not a big deal unless you make it a big deal.
11 comments:
Btw, I don't think this was very good. I like the ideas I put through but not the way I structured it. I'm sorry it's really long. Well done for getting through it.
Wonderful! It was very good, both the ideas and the diction. You made me laugh and ponder (funny word) about what you were saying.
I think your point about adult having complicated relationships because they are based on the crappy relationships we have as teenagers is a good one.
I think we should all have a jar, similar to the "Reasons I hate Lindsey" jar, but instead a "Brush it off" jar. So we can put things that upset us in that jar and forget it. Hopefully without oxygen (fuel to flame) the problems will die and we won't get 'burnt.'
Well done :)
OOOO I totally agree with Ludwig's jar idea :)
Great :) I'm looking forward to more great posts from you. Your ideas are great but what's better is your witty diction.
When you're "in the moment" I think it's near impossible to think about it how a third person would think. But I guess you need to learn how to take a step back, take a breath and think it through once more.
woah.. i have a tonne of stuff to say about this blog/topic.
firstly. novia, you totally should've substituted "sarah and tim" with "ashlee and pete" (in contrast with "lindsey"). then there'd be googlers going "OMG!!! WHAT?!?" and we'll get a whole bunch of views.
anyway, this reminded me of something i read in White Oleander and i'll read it to you now:
The mind is so thin, barely a spiderweb, with all its fine thoughts, aspirations, and beliefs in its own importance. Watch how easily it unravels, evaporates under the first lick of pain.
now, i know pain was a small example of the given situations in novia's stories but if you compare it with instincts and impulses, you can kinda see how 'stupid' people are. most of everything to us is a spurr of the moment. our thinking ability is the size of visible light in the EM spectrum. and in fact, a lot of people don't even react with their instincts, but in the way that they know other, preferrably more able people, would. yeah, and it applies mostly with teenagers too. *gag*
teenagers and teenagers-at-heart in our modern age have forgotten what our nanas and papas hav valued. we have no wit, no discipline, no self-awareness. we've forgotten that life is a game and now everyone plays with no strategy.
i agree with this post more than the last one but this topic is so broad and interconnectable that paranoid procrastinators like me (yes, there's such a thing) can only force themselves to feel indifferent to the subject and hope someone else will have the time and effort to figure all of this out for the coming generations.
on another note:
JARS ARE BAD!!!!!!!!
you know why? because they resemble very much like another household object called a BOTTLE. don't keep things bottled up. ..or jar-ed up. let them out like butterflies. either they're forgotten or applied somewhere. like a page, a canvas, an instrument or revenge. revenge can be good when its suitable and done properly. not like flipping the bird because that just makes you look silly.
hm jars. I still like the jars idea. but the way mona puts it makes me not like jars so much
Jars have lids...and you close the lid and the problem dies.
Bottles don't have lids but have bottlenecks (oddly enough) so you put the problems in and they can't get out. But they can still get air and grow. Then when they get big enough the bottle breaks and the glass gets in your eye.
Jars > Bottles
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA>>> The glass gets in your eye. HAHAHA. Owies.
Hm, while your point is valid I must say that people normally put things in jars to preserve things. You don't wanna preserve bad feelings. Connatations.
Hahaha. I changed the names from Tim and Sarah to Pete and Ashlee just for a laugh.
"The Take over, The Break's Over" will be ruined shortly.
hahahaha! i'm crapping myself at how metaphorical ludwig can get. well.. it kinda depends on whether you think a grudge is a preservable food or a living organism. in terms of something that "grows", if you smother it in a jar it'll die a slow and painfull death but you'll be WATCHING it as it does so which may come off as a little obsessive. considering that the jar is made of glass, in which i think all jars are.. my point is, whether you preserve it or kill it, you'll still HAVE it.
IN
THAT
JAR.
i say all grudges come in jars/bottles/glad wrap/supre bags etc.. it just depends if you can let the little monster out or not. and tactifully in a way where it can't or won't come chasing after you. peace to the world.
btw, this jar representation of grudges is way better than whoever invented the chip-on-a-shoulder one. cliche calender!!
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